Vampire of London

by Sean T. Collins

“All of this, every building within a Mile of Hyde Park Corner, belongs to one man. Medieval land grabs, the feudal system, hereditary peerages, entitlement — and we just let ‘em. God save the Queen, eh? You know, the French had it right with dear old Madame Guillotine. That’s what we should do, Gal. Knock some heads in baskets.” —Teddy Bass, Sexy Beast (Episode 7)

The vampire in popular culture isn’t merely a creature of the night, he’s a creature of the Right. The granddaddy of them all is Count Dracula, not Mister Dracula. The heir of decadent Eastern European aristocracy, his scheme to submerge London beneath his blood-dimmed tide in Bram Stoker’s original novel involves rampant real-estate speculation. Today he’d have property in all of those hideous New York City skyscrapers full of condos owned but not actually occupied by various Russian business gangsters. 

Kurt Barlow, the nosferatu who destroys the small town of ‘Salem’s Lot in the book by Stephen King, is an ancient Austrian nobleman. Too hideous to be seen publicly, he adopts the guise of an unseen eccentric antiques shop owner, a pretty good way for an immortal rich parasite to lie low in Maine. The vampire Lestat comes from a failing French noble house and grew up in a castle, while his lover, Louis, owned a plantation, showing that America’s native aristocracy is not immune.